frail hearts (In Memoriam)

and just like that, I'm reading a passage on UWorld about Down Syndrome and the associated heart defects - at some point the words "heart failure" come up and the memory of your passing, dearest maamo, comes to mind. I remember the conversations we had; how your voice sounded almost exactly like my mother's on most days, your laugh carrying so perfectly across the speakers. I remember the photos you'd send me on Whatsapp, your attempts to connect your life from a distance with my own is the only form of tangible connection we maintained. 

I remember staring at the video my mother sent, eyes frozen to the screen as I watched your chest quiver with the arrhythmic beating of your heart. I understood, so acutely, the implications of your circumstances then. I knew that the resources that could provide the interventions your heart needed were outside of Somalia's borders. 

You, my maamo, the only one of my mother's five siblings I did not meet in person. You, the youngest of them, the sweetest, the kindest. We love you and honor you in our duas maamo. I promise to look after the parts of yourself you've left behind; your children, my cousins. 

I hope you are smiling and basking in Allah's noor. May his love and mercy envelope you always. 

May we meet in that Kingdom that knows not the word loss, 

or ending. 

(In Memoriam: Maamo Shamso Salebaan, sister to my mother Mariam Salebaan and four others, daughter to my beloved grandmother Shukri Farah Mohamed) 

05/02/2023